Dear fuenfnullzwei.de/60pages,
Not long ago I had a lovely, fleeting encounter with a fellow student, Gülgün. She was beautiful and from Istanbul and spoke German because of her studies at the German School there. Later, she studied Economics, also in German and she never wanted to return to Istanbul. Though Gülgün had a lover at the time I met her in law school, a German, who was also a law student. I was too shy to make a move back then, though I was very much attracted to Gülgün. Her difference in Austria and my difference in Austria seemed destined to collide. You see, I am the child of Holocaust survivors in Cracow and even though my parents spent all their energy making sure I would survive in the world that remained after the concentration camps, I live to take on the responsibility of others. A relationship between a German man and a Turkish woman was almost too much to bear. If ever the German had wronged Gülgün, I would have felt compelled to announce to the world, “Ich war’s, ich bin’s gewesen. Ich bin schuld.« And so I never thought about her again. Until….
One day I was called to be a juror on a case: a typical “Turkish story” as the Janus-faced judge presiding over the case called it. It was the situation of a Turkish waiter (who was also a musician) named Yilmaz. He was accused of shooting a fellow Turk in a bar in one of the “piquant” parts of Vienna. I felt incredible sympathy towards him. That “Turkish story” the judge mentioned could have easily been a “Jewish story” just a few generations ago, somewhere in the 2nd district. And it could have been me on the stand. Without a Jewish judge of course because Jewish judges were almost non-existent, they could never represent the state or adjudicate in an objective way, according to the old prejudices. And as I thought of this, how guilty I might personally be of this crime I was asked to decide on, suddenly, there she was, Gülgün, testifying because she is now the wife of the accused. What attracted her, an accomplished, assimilated German-speaking Turkish woman to fall for this uneducated, fly-by-night Yilmaz? Can ethnicity be so powerful? Now that Yilmaz will be locked away for his alleged crimes, I ask you, dear Editor, is now the time for me to make my move?
Signed, Searching
Dear Searching,
Given the uneasy relationship between Jews and Austrians (and Germans) since the Holocaust, Turks would seem to be natural partners for Jews such as yourself. You are, for each other, the other “other” in German speaking society. A Turkish woman in exile from her native-born city and country and with an accomplished German language ability would be like a female version of Kafka, writing beautiful, accent-free German prose on the margins of a comatose Empire. That’s irresistible to almost any Jew from Cracow.
But a solidarity between people we call “minorities” in short-hand requires at all times a third participant in the relationship: a stabile, German majority culture to define one’s self against. In effect, you might be consigning yourself to a perpetual ménage à trois. Maybe this is your thing. But the problem with that is this: the German majority culture (or Austrian culture) is as fragile as anybody else and so s/he will make a terrible bedfellow. There might be late night, drunk calling or texting from the majority culture, needing to know that you and Gülgün still exist so that s/he can sleep at night. You might never get peace from the majority culture and you may feel as if you are never alone. The majority culture may want you and Gülgün to be the cosmopolitan boyfriend/girlfriend (and indeed, you may want that for yourself as well) but be warned: you will usually only feel mundane, bereft of your own traditions.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t pursue a relationship together. Just think of the burekes/ Börek you will make together. With enough Strudelteig left over for majority culture’s Apfel. Or maybe no one will be hungry for those things anymore.