I guess it is this thing one calls adolescence or disillusioning or giving up utopia or becoming reliable or resigning from aspirations or may be just forgetting why you stood up in the first place.
It is this time period that apparently has to pass until you stop being considered as the Schmuddelkind, and start raping your thoughts, your language, your behaviour, and finally think you’re in the game, but actually deliver yourself to the opposite.
After the so-called Debakel of the recent election results, which Die Grünen brought home, the entire league of leaders are stepping back to pave the way for the so-called Neuanfang.
What a quiet resignation after a dramatic line-up from Petra Kelly who was shot dead to Joschka Fischer who was not convinced to shoot. But what – you may laugh about it – grasped my attention most, was that Claudia Roth didn’t cry this time.
When I saw Claudia Roth crying for the first time I really wasn’t prepared for that. It was in 1993, she came as a representative of the European Parliament to a symposium, which some fellow students and me organised to discuss the triangle relationship between Turkey, Germany and the European Union. Since I was heading the organising NGO at that time, I had the task to sum up the conference with a final speech, which I prepared during the last session. While stepping up the podium I felt disappointed about the thoughts, about the language, the behaviour and what I anticipated the result could be of this whole undertaking. So I spontaneously decided to put my notes aside and talked about aspirations instead of results. And, just thinking of the Gezi people in Istanbul today, most of them at my age back then, I wouldn’t see so much difference in what I was saying. After I stopped talking, it was quiet for a moment, and I heard someone crying. I looked to my right and saw Claudia Roth, tears were running down her face, she stood up and embraced me, which I didn’t expect, and certainly didn’t intend at all.
Some people approached my after the conference and criticised that I wrapped it up so personally and emotionally.
Some other people approached me and told me that I shouldn’t be concerned about Claudia’s reaction, because it wasn’t anything extraordinary, since she was actually well known as the Heulsuse. Aha.
Interesting enough the result of the conference was unexpected, too. Surprisingly (to me), the FAZ put it on the front page the day after, on April 7th, 1993: “Bonn strebt engere Kooperation mit Ankara an” because Hans-Peter Repnik, a conservative Parliamentary Secretary of State, and may be the most technocratic politician that attended our symposium, stated that on the panel.
The last time I saw Claudia crying was actually this summer in the midst of the Gezi crowd. Forgive me, this time I really can’t say whether it was because of her emotions or due to the tear gas.
When she declared her resignation after the German elections and more than thirty years in politics she didn’t cry anymore.
Who knows why?