its not because I learnt about how to be a businessman by reading marx and then the dust jackets of althusser no thats not why i am broke i know the difference between an isa as in ideological state apparatus and an isa as in individual savings account the former might explain some of the twentieth century the latter is a tax efficient savings account in the uk and anyway i was at least smart enough to ignore the advice jacques derrrida gave me about the music business in a cafe in paris I am sure it must be instead be because I get caught up in the forcing of things into being and kind of caring about them too much to kill them off if the market doesn’t seem to want them I can always find reasons or maybe its not me making choices at all and i am unable to use economics to resist those things that are channeled through me I don’t know because it gets confusing when the world at large grants reputational capital for things that steal my actual capital and raid my bank account because they wont buy my time at a price that will keep me in the kind of suits I like so the last film I produced sealed my reputation and meant I got to meet the really unusual looking one from sons of anarchy at the golden globes and have a nice glass thing on a shelf from the new york critics but i am still more broke after enabling it to be made than i was before i started working on it and i spent all my eighties money on serious stuff like offices and investing in new talent and ideas and then it seemed like it wasn’t going to work and then it does and that just gets messy and confusing and really difficult to explain to a banking call center or a tax man which is maybe why I remember going up a mountainside deep in snow in the highlands a few years back and sitting in this corrie looking down on an icy lochan and then stood up when I should really have been making a proper business plan and instead I implored unspecified deities to bring it on not realising that it was probably only the bank that was listening not someone from alpha centauri or the judeo christian tradition or lakshmi or whoever the bull temple in bangalore is for which I don’t remember but it is an amazing place with a big black stone bull oiled and sweaty so despite all those disappointments something certainly did decide to bring it on in a most unfortunate way that could easily have turned me back to marx if i still had the attention span to read difficult books its not like the stuff i get caught up in making happen is driven by really difficult thoughts you know the reason i first went to see godard movies was because of all the women in them and to be really honest it wasn’t because they were being eloquent and unusual it was because they were hot so really I ought to be more effectively in tune with the market especially as I am a lot worse at filling out forms for ideological state apparatuses of which we seem to have a lot in europe in the 21st century but I did like a book called gargantua by julian stallabrass which i read the first pages of and an interesting bit in the middle because lets face everything is as rapacious as hell these days which is why its best to leave economics to rabelais and maybe for the rest if us to stop talking.