Dear Anglosphere,
there’s this rumor out there that the English language is easy. It’s not. I mean, how do you explain to a non-native speaker that the word diaper is spelled like that? It looks like a crazy mistake. It looks like it should be pronounced dee-aper. Not to mention Worcester, Leicester and Gloucester – those are just insane. But it’s not only the pronunciation; it’s also these pesky idioms. For the longest time I thought the phrase “to curry favor” was actually “to carry favor”. Makes much more sense, doesn’t it? As Merriam Webster explains to me, “to curry” means 1) to clean the coat of (as a horse) with a currycomb and 2) to treat (tanned leather) especially by incorporating oil or grease. In case you’re wondering: It has nothing to do with chicken curry. And why is “inflammable” and “flammable” the same thing? I thought I understood how prefixes worked until I learned English. My American friend (who shall remain anonymous) told me, that when she was a child, she thought that “fortunately” was an abbreviation of “unfortunately”. Fortunately (ha!), she deemed herself to eloquent to ever stoop to using the abbreviated version.
I see right through you, Anglos-Saxons, this rumor is a ploy to make everyone speak your language, so you don’t have to learn any other. An added perk is that all these poor souls who came to the game much later are trying to write and work in your language and you will always have the advantage. Pretty smart, actually.
Sincerely,
Someone who fell for it.