Everybody knows that to love demands the transgression of the narcissistic „narrative of the victim“ (Eva Illouz), which declares the subject to be an object of a structure of determinants. Because this transgression isn’t easy, Jean-Luc Nancy distinguishes between „good“ and „bad narcissism“. Good narcissism would be nearly indistinguishable from what we call self-confidence, a stability owed to the awareness of the uncertainty of life. Being self-confident means to consistently stand one’s ground in the confrontation with the outside, whereas bad or actual narcissism refuses itself this minimal consistency in order to perform inconsistently through and through. The subject of narcissism lives on the affective reflex which it hopes to actuate in other subjects. It never ceases to be unrecognized with regard to its imaginary, to not get a satisfying representation in the outside, so that it – as a sort of miserable consciousness – inhabits the cleft between self-perception and external perception. Bad narcissism can be recognized by this sort of self-melodramatization which lets the subject immerse itself in resentments, in the constant attempt to attract regret, pity or admiration. Apparently what mirrors itself in the distinction between self-confidence and narcissism (or good and bad narcissism) is the Nietzschean difference between active and passive nihilism. If love does not comply with morality – as long as we understand morality with Alain Badiou as the “practical obedience against a law” –, then it is a force which draws its intensity from the confrontation with the incommensurable, the void, the nothing. Passive nihilism immerses itself in this void, while active nihilism affirms the subject’s self-elevation in the emptiness of universality. Instead of bowing to a morality, it appeals to the power of self-invention which implies disobedience against symbolic standards. The subject of love defies narcissistic obedience by positioning itself beyond the sphere of the established. What distinguishes love from narcissistic self-objectification is that it must sustain itself without any support of a positive force. Narcissism, on the other hand, relies on a support which appeals to an authority (an inner voice etc.). Love needs the progression towards the other, without the the safety of a principle of primordial togetherness or any teleology. Love carries the subject beyond itself; it starts to experience the brittleness of its identity. Neither the self-confident nor the narcissistic position exists intactly. The subject of narcissism is different from the subject of self-confidence in so far as that, instead of accepting its original non-intactness (contamination etc.) as normal, it claims some sort of imaginary untouchability. An ontology of love is justified already by its consisting in the experience of love as an experience of being. Love affects all the realities of the subject, it is its reality check. Those who avoid this examination do not love, but shrink from the force of this experience.