Ladies who lunch run this town until 2pm.

Today, I was under the strong impression that LA is run by “Ladies who Lunch” (A term from the old american society world, describing rich, fashionable woman that lunch, because they have too much time and money, if that’s possible) The tables in Hollywood are filled with them. Around noon there is no other lunch guest in sight. I counted 50 ladies today. The lady who lunches always had a special look, although the cool “undercover” look of the sixties or seventies has gone. (See Lee Radzwill in the picture, Jackie O.’s sister, that used to lunch with lady Truman.) In LA, the lady who lunches looks extremely different. Let’s start with the dress. It is one, that other people would wear to a triple wedding in Barbados, in other words, too much of everything and then some more. (Colour: creampuff, pink lady, vomit yellow) The hair is blown out, but don’t show up with an hour old blowout! You have to come up with a look that would suggest your hairdresser gave you the blow out in the car on the way to the restaurant. Think Warren Beatty in “Shampoo” Juices in LA have to be fresh and blow outs too. (For Berliners: Udo Walz is offering this service now on Ku’damm for 30 Euros and I can highly recommend it) What else? The mouth, were you put your food in. Needless to say, it can’t be too big or too small and the perfect lady who lunches tries to adjust her weight to her size of her mouth. (You can call it body art)  There has to be some harmony, if you know what I mean. One lady was too skinny for her mouth, plus she could not walk in her shoes. Too high for her. (Legs, that are too skinny, mostly don’t have enough power in their thighs to walk right, so your thighs should be a little on the italian side.) Which brings us to the point “shoes”. Of course you have to choose the right ones for your triple wedding dress, so we are talking about a good 14 inch heel here. Of course we know that it is “strictly verboten” to change these shoes for driving (if you HAVE to do it yourself or want to show off your new TESLA toy.) The food? Back in the day, ladies who lunched ate pretty much everything, until Penelope Tree, Candice Bergen and Marissa Berenson changed the menu with their arugula and carpaccio demands. Today, you don’t even care what ladies who lunch eat or if they eat. They just appear like locusts. And disappear around 2pm. Their job is hard. Don’t underestimate the work. They could be an army. Or a political party. They become more and more. Don’t say nobody warned you.