I’ve been wanting to write about love and bullshit since the beginning. I guess, by now any moment is as good as this one.
I am always bewildered of how many arguments and explanations people come up with when it comes to love. I have stopped trying to explain. I either fall in love or I don’t.
(I love the attribution of falling in love. It is exactly that: You gain speed, everything around you is fading, there is no way to hide or stop it. You either do it like Willy Coyote and pretend you’re running through the air, or you let yourself fall, falling for someone, gliding like a swallow, gracefully and with style.)
But the constant interference of the mind seems to be a major problem of my peers, mixed with fear and lack of risk. Some people even find flaws on the most perfect of human beings, others cannot adapt their expectations to reality and prefer to leave it that way. («I could never be with someone who [insert the most trivial thing].»)
What I hear the most is the argument: I have options. Af if they had a list of beautiful, lovely, willing human-beings to share potentially the rest of their life with them. As if there were to many fitting people, a world full of perfect lovers, waiting to be optioned. As if they chose to be lonely and alone, or, in the case they have someone, as if they could always switch.
People pretend that love is a market, behaving in economic models, and that their partners are options, fitting for now, but maybe not tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow there will be someone else, delivering more for less, a better product, a cheaper price. They also think that they invest into someone and therefore have the right to expect a return on investment. You cannot measure love, as it is a feeling, so subtle and ever-changing, so rich and powerful and totally unpredictable. There is no market, no investment, there are no options. You commit yourself and you fall in love and everything is possible and every time it is different. You leave your comfort zone, you put your heart at risk. Everything else is bullshit.
In the words of Susan Sontag: «Why do people want to be in love? That’s really interesting. Partly, they want to be in love the way you want to go on a roller coaster again — even knowing you’re going to have your heart broken.»