How to live a life with less bullshit, a happier, a better life? At the end of these loosely connected essays, this might be the most important of all questions.
I found a rather beautiful answer in a speech by George Saunders. He deeply encourages everyone to harness a certain kindness. «Try to be kinder», he says. And then starts explaining why this might not be an easy task:
«Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian. These are: (1) we’re central to the universe (that is, our personal story is the main and most interesting story, the only story, really); (2) we’re separate from the universe (there’s US and then, out there, all that other junk – dogs and swing-sets, and the State of Nebraska and low-hanging clouds and, you know, other people), and (3) we’re permanent (death is real, o.k., sure – for you, but not for me).»
But, Saunders says, there are ways, even tough it is hard. One way is by just living along, experiencing, aging. «We come to love other people and are thereby counter-instructed in our own centrality. We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separate, and don’t want to be.»
We learn to appreciate kindness. It’s what you remember the most about someone. People become less selfish over time – but they could accelerate this process and live a happy life longer.
«Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really: selfishness. But there’s also a cure. So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf – seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life.
Do all the other things, the ambitious things – travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality – your soul, if you will – is as bright and shining as any that has ever been.»
You’ll find more about George Saunders in this New York Times-Profile.