Okay, this was to be expected. I got mixed up again with my little short short-story. Chapter 4 “How I stopped being a motherfucker and became the soft funny crippled nipple-licker, I am still today” is still in the making. I am not really sure for the very moment, where this experiment will take me to. Guys, give me some three more days, okay?? So take this in the mean mean-time, “Yes we SHELL”, three parts, three monologues, three characters communicating with each other, a little mini-theater-clip, that should motivate the people out there to fuck and boycott SHELL, this most devious oil-company, a video-clip I never did, because nobody wanted to do it with me. But I KNOW, you will enjoy it.
Yes we SHELL
POSSIBLE SETTINGS:
some entrance to a SHELL-headquarter
SITUATION
One sees the usual bunch of demonstrators, keeping up their signboards and shouting what is written on them:
“Yes we SHELL” “Clean up the mess in the Niger-Delta, SHELL!”,
“SHELL, you didn´t do too much to save the Niger-Delta from environmental destruction!”
“SHELL, you didn’t stand up to protect the millions of inhabitants of the Niger-Delta from exploitation and oppression!”
“Boycott SHELL’s fuel-stations, as long as they don’t help its inhabitants to return to a graceful and dignified live!”
“Boycott SHELL unless it is not making a serious effort to clean up the environmental mess in the Niger-delta!”
In front of that little demonstration you see Rumanian Lord Nimrod Kamer, Ugandan Poet Melinda Nampiima Kiwanuka and the miserable German Looser Joe Fleisch (pronounce Flaysh)
Nimrod (turning to this petrol station employee, presenting SHELL):
Do not listen to them. They are hypocrites. We need the oil! This is an oily planet. Without oil-companies like Shell this whole planet would be one fucking boring stone-age-movie. We need fossil fuels. For whom did all these animals die for, millions of years ago? They died for us!! In order to become fossil fuels. Fossil fuels! To overheat our buildings, to run our cars, to fry our chickens and juicy hamburgers. Forget about climate warmth. There is no such thing. The climate on planet Earth is perfect. Perfect!!! The Niger-delta in Nigeria has gigantic oil-reserves. Throughout the last 50 years these oil-reserves produced a gigantic profit of 600 billion dollars. So what, if the population got a bit impoverished, they were never really rich, weren’t they? (frowning and smiling)
Whatever SHELL would have done, either to save the environment in the Niger-Delta from destruction, or to protect its people from the exploitation and oppression by the dictatorial regimes in Nigeria since the 70s, it would have cost a lot of money!!! This is of course not, what the hard-working shareholders of SHELL want! Who cares anyway? This is goddamn Africa. Black devious Sub-Saharan Africa. Deadly jungles, bloodshed and misery forever. Come on! The only thing that counts is profit. Profit, profit, profit. Profit makes us efficient, profit gives us access to oil and energy. Without profit there is no sense in life. I am a prophet of the Hebrew Bible! I am foreseeing the future! There is no future, if a company like SHELL is not making profit! I am Shylock! I am Jesus! I am the son of god! (reinforcing his words with heavy nodding and an encouraging rude ridiculous smile into direction of the demonstrators)
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