#60
 
 

Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell

by Fabian Wolff

“I just don’t enjoy pretty faces in leading roles” my friend Polina says. We’re eating bagels, ’cause we Jews. More specifically: Jews from the 50s. Whenever she’s in Berlin we meet up, to work on things and to eat the Jew-iest things we can find. But not like gefilte fish or anything. We have taam after all.

I find this aversion of hers puzzling. Just like with the concept of the “likable character” the “unsympathetic actor” – the unchecked gut reaction not to the what or the how, but the who – seems strange to me. Though there are indeed actors that I cannot stand – I won’t mention any names, because they might be readers – who seem not just empty but vacuous. Empty is fine, vacuous is deadly. Hear that, Ryan Gosling?

He always reminds me of that scene in “Get Shorty” where an old-school Method actor wants to learn from a gangster how to scare and intimidate people with just an expression. The actor tries his best, the gangster is not impressed: “What you’re telling me: You’re tired? You wanna go to bed?”

The “what you’re telling me” part is of course what makes this exchange so great. The actor wants to be a gangster, yes, but the gangster also desperately wants to be a Hollywood macher. There are quite a few reformed criminals who became actors: John Santucci, or Danny Trejo. The reverse also happens, like with Rip Torn who one day just woke up and found himself to be shooting up a bank.

And some people have a connection to both worlds. It’s never clear how much you can explore those connections in public without running the risk of libel. Anyway, let’s talk about Alain Delon.

I ask Polina if he’s not the perfect counterexample to her “pretty face” theory. “Well, I don’t like him as much as I could. With stuff like “Le Samourai” he was getting there I guess.” Her opinion, of course. Did I almost drop my bagel? Maybe.

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